So I had an interesting thing happen yesterday.
I was referred by someone who was interested in my art and wanted to schedule a time to meet up and talk about the two commission pieces he was interested in.
Naturally, like any artist, it’s easy to get excited about doing something you love and creating a piece that they would love.
After a phone call and quite a few texts, I began to notice a pattern.
Lots of no replies or delayed replies, so I took note. I’m an observer by nature.
I get it. Life gets busy. Work can be hectic and our time and energies get spread thin.
We eventually landed on a time and place in the neighborhood. All good and no big deal UNTIL he ran late.
Like 30ish mins late.
Now I happen to know this place is close to his residence and at 6:32, I texted to let him know that I had arrived and was waiting for him.
He replies “I’ll be there in 2 mins.”
6:50pm arrives and he finally shows up.
Me: “Hi! It’s nice to finally meet you”
Him: “Oh my God, I’m so sorry (yet another apology), I got distracted by the food truck outside.”
Me: Ok, in my typical fashion, I gave him ANOTHER break and said “well, now that you’re here, let’s talk about the pieces you would like me to create…”
After 20 mins, we go outside so he could have a cigarette.
We chat for 45 mins or so when he says “hey want another beer? I need to go use the restroom”
Me: “No thank you. I’m good”
He proceeds to come back, grab his phone and head back in. Ok….
I hop on the phone to check emails and text and then notice he’s pulled a chair up at the bar and is talking to some people there like he somehow forgot about me.
12 minutes pass, I’ve been playing the Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go” lyrics in my head wondering do I just pack up and go?
Well, last year I made a commitment to myself, no more second guessing (which I still do, but not as much) and decided I should grab my artwork inside and pack up the car. I didn’t want to just bail unannounced (that would be super unprofessional) so I grabbed his pack of cigarettes, walked up to him at the bar, put the pack down on the bar and said “I’m out. I see you’re busy and have other priorities tonight” and I walked out.
Not angry, just a bit confused at the whole situation, but also thankful I didn’t open a door to a project(s) that I would later regret.
I would also like to add that I’ve been accused of being overly sensitive, not trusting enough, an over thinker… to that, I respond, when you’ve been burned and disrespected over and over again, your guard goes up. I will give someone the benefit of the doubt, but there is a line and when it’s crossed, there is no need to move forward together. And I rarely go back. It takes too much energy to re-establish if that is their pattern of disrespect.
My takeaways are: Trust your intuition. If it feels off, it usually is. And another thing to consider, if you don’t already practice this: YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE and SACRED. Do not let any one disrespect you PERIOD.
Secondly, stop second guessing yourself, if you are. All that does is erode any self worth and trust you have established to keep moving forward.
I’m a slow learner, but I caught this one quicker this time
I wish him the best, but as Heather and I say.. ONWARD & UPWARD.